Goals are important. They give us determination, help us feel like we are working towards something we want, add structure.
In the studio, I see many people, with many different goals. From wanting to lose some body fat, become stronger, increase endurance, or simply just to FEEL better in themselves. I always try to help my clients manage those goals, in a sensible way. As a woman, bombarded by the “perfect body” idealistic look from media and magazines most my life, I used to have a very unhealthy relationship with my own goals. I wanted to be what I thought to be ‘perfect’. Size 8 (euro 36), ‘skinny’, toned, no wobbly bits, no (what I considered) imperfections. What did this mean? I was constantly trying new fads to get there. Hating the journey. Never feeling like I’ve achieved anything in my quest. Constantly disappointed in myself, then starting again the next week. Same old routine.
At one of my most un-confident stages. Starting a new ‘diet’ every Monday.
The first step to changing was to take control of what I saw. I unfollowed the endless social media accounts that I became obsessed with, stopped reading the magazines that shame women’s bodies, stop comparing myself to other people. There are 4 billion women on this earth, and the beauty of that is, every single one of us is different. We should embrace that. You don’t have to want the same as your friends do.
I started to enjoy my journey
Once I de-cluttered my mind from outside influences, it was time to work on myself from within. My wonderful body. It has been through so much. I have abused it, hated it, shamed it, pinched it and resented it completely. I had a distorted image of myself. At some points, unable to even look in the mirror. This wasn’t going to be an easy ride, but I acknowledged it, and worked on it. I needed to get to know my body more, how it worked, understand it, and have healthier goals to aim for. Step by step. Most importantly I learnt to enjoy the journey.
I enjoyed feeling stronger, every workout, celebrating the good feelings I got. Not just focussing on the unrealistic goal I had set for myself. My best results came only when my mindset changed, and I started to work with myself, instead of against myself. I still have blips, but most of the time, I appreciate myself, I no longer compare to others, and enjoy the feeling of confidence. My best advice when deciding your own goals, is to remember to always work on the mind first, start from inside, get to know yourself, and love yourself from day one.