For sure you can see the physical changes. But more than that, I see so much growth from these two times in my life.
I felt trapped in a world that I had created. The fancy city flat, the steady job, the nice car, the clothes, the material things – it’s what I thought was LIVING. This was it, this is what people want right? So be happy with it!! I was in a spiral, convincing myself it’s what I wanted.
Something I rarely talk about to be honest is the things I would do to myself to change my outward appearance, to make me “really happy”. Botox, lip fillers, procedures, at 22. I am NOT hating on these things, I just know that I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to be making these choices for my body.
I look at who I’m becoming now, and reflect on the journey to this point, it’s not all fairytales and rainbows. It’s been difficult. I’ve had to face things that I didn’t want to, push through barriers I didn’t even know existed, even teach myself to FEEL again.. but it is possible, with the right tools.
I’m happy with who I’m still learning to become 💗 life is calmer, my brain is calmer, and I am a constant work in progress, just trying to enjoy the ride!